Author's Summary: Alert the Darwin Awards! Bella Swan, depressed and demented, nearly dies trying to kill herself & is shipped to Forks WA. Watch her update her facebook status and fall in love. WARNING: MA, very dark comedy. OOC w/ nod to canon , E/B some Jake , AH
Why tg10781 loves it:
BellaFlan is a BRILLIANT woman! She seamlessly combines tear inducing angst with snort inducing humor.
It’s the best of both worlds! I’m well known for being a bit ADD when it comes to reading. I crave something that has just enough angst to keep me interested and just enough humor to keep me smiling. That’s exactly what Stigmata Tomato has.
BellaFlan has an amazing ability to take you deep within the mind of someone suffering from different types of issues, and with Stigmata Tomato she doesn’t disappoint.
Each chapter begins with Bella updating her Facebook status. They range from “Killing myself” to “Engaging in Buttsecks”.
Stigmata Tomato is only 6 chapters in so far, but those 6 chapter PWN me!
And really how couldn’t it with lines like these: “Only I could manage to slip and fall onto a dull knife, effectively slicing through my arm. Of course, my drama-queen of a mother refused to listen to the voice of reason. It was just an accident. What kind of idiot would commit suicide by both cutting her arm open and giving herself a concussion?” AND “"You're Sex-hair's father!" I screamed. "Pardon me?" "Sex-hair! You know, Abercrombie swagger, bronze fuck-me hair and gorgeous as all fuck...what's his name?"”
So go read it! NOW!
Sorry… “"They gave me Ativan," I explained, "and now I have discharge."” ;)
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